I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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