girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
