do herpes really smell.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
