so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
