Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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