Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
