i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
