reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am naked and annoyed.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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