Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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