I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
