I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
