i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
