She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
