if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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