Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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