no, he came in my armpit
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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