member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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