But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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