FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
