I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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