You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize