Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize