VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
