I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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