Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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