..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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