he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
