i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This gyro tastes like lonliness
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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