Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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