Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
