All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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