All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
