just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
