is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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