Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you made out with another girl for some wings
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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