Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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