i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
