note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
