I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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