U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
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