I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize