I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this just has baby written all over it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
