Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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