Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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