We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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