God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
