And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
