That's when you crack a 10am beer
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
