Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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