is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
