Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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