yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
