My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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