Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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